6 months

Last August 2011 when i received a called from a lady from HR. I was panic and that time my mind started running out. I'm not ready for a change, i don't want to move, i'm afraid to be in the place where the rumours said about stress and tough. It worried me all the time till the day i came for my first day in work. The moment that i hate was introducing myself in front of crowd. Seriously, the nerves bite my body... Err....

Now, after 6 months working plus after renew my contract, i'm getting to love this job. It is too perfect to leave... :( despite the never ending report, the non stop incoming new admission, the fussy elderly which like to be pampered and sometimes hate to be closed with and the arrogant face by the tittle of dato or tan sri they hold..and ect... But there are still a sweet moment i shall keep and need to be remember..

I love to see their smile, i love when they laughed for my jokes though they are in pain, i love when they start their words by reminding one another about life, promise, advice, recipe, experience and many other things. Once we tight the bond we shared a lot more, especially when tears drop this really taught my soul to be stronger cos in my eyes they are more painful than what i felt...

One man came for assessment and i was impressed by his personality, the neat man, the polite language, the very friendly with smile, the perfect people who companied him here and there.. We had a long conversation.. He was amazing in his life.. He was a successful man.. I said to him.. 'it is so perfect and you the lucky man'. He replied me, with his eyes in me.. Yes i am lucky but i only the old man. 

These moment was adorable, instead of my responsible on work, it gave me lesson in each day i stayed.. True! Today i share my happiness and tomorrow my prayer followed them in the other world. MAY HE WITH THEM...

Today, tomorrow and day after tomorrow my prayer always with them.. I'm doing with all my heart, jujur dan ikhlas kerana Allah. Ameen.. Dan semoga segala yang aku berikan di terimaNya... Insyaallah....

Being in geriatric is not easy as you think..but based on niat and honest.. There is nothing stop you! But remember geri is the people you have to appreciate most..

Sincere,

DIEBA

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disable doesn't mean unable

If we only have a faith in Him, we will enjoy life to the fullest despite all the worries we have to face each day.

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bitter

Next time i meet you, i promise you i won't hurt you so badly... Forget this bitter harder please for my forgiveness... Resque me from my misery..... :( tell you this is bad!

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Those days

almost a year i left Sabah days... how fast time flies but the memories of time and the nostalgia in Sabah still stand in my mind. how i miss all those days.. it is not the only day, but i miss people i knew for my stayed. I miss them.

sometimes, i ever wonder why those time meant to me instead for the other places i ever stay. the assumption plays around but it never satisfied me cos i still look for the answer. i haven't found once. but my heart touched by couple of things that i hold tight till now. may He keep strengthen my faith and patience. ameen~

i wanna come back to those places i ever reached if any rezeki i have. i love being in those time. i wanna meet those people who gave a lot meant, people who actually gave me silence support from their acted, motivation, and prayer. how i appreciate myself for the opportunities from Him for being in those days and got a lot of hikmah from these travel.

insyaallah, if the luck still in my side.. i'll be back and i'll make sure the next time i reach the place, i'll make it better from last time.... again, insyaallah...

My acute

recently i struggle with emotion, i fight with doubt, i blame my flaws and i reaching my hopeless... 

poor motivation' perkataan yang lebih sesuai untuk diterangkan...'

my bad. sigh....

today, i treated one of my patient who previously was so depress, crying over his life 'leave by children because of the disabilities', hopeless about being alive, give up on trying, and most missing his family. but... just now, he was smiling, he was teasing people, he making a joke, he don't cried as he did last time in every session, he never missed the smile in a seconds, he stronger than what he was before, he was talking so much...he is getting better and he was like getting a miracle for presenting himself today compared to what i have seen him before..
Impressive!

I have been told by soul; he is only an old man who is going to lose some of his and i was a young lady who are stronger than him and have everything that i able to get. 

but... 

my heart weak, 

i am hopeless in a while just because of the unmotivated mood.

Sesungguhnya Allah menguji dia lebih daripada ape yang aku diuji... subhanallah....

i lost my syukur... sudden

today, when i saw him... istiqamah, doa, syukur dan redha are overwhelming...
my spirit go up high!
i have my spunk...
i beat them up 'unmotivated, sober and anxious'

```exhale..... i'm awake!

sometimes, there is a time when we feel a little under the weather and sometimes we feel like the heart skip a beat..and sometimes there is a sorrow and disappointment over the head.. but, He heals with people around, the scenario surroundings and sometimes He opens our heart... He makes our eyes clear with wisdom and hikmah.... despite the nikmat yang diberikan He choose us among the others for the hidayah....

because we are the umat 'slave' who always put Him in heart, soul and life in any situation we are facing. wallahualam... may what i thought was right... insyaallah...ameen...

This is our story

It was right that friendship never met the ending, it was long lasting.. It is true that 'friend forever' can be mean. last time in my holiday back in my hometown, my best friend asked me to meet up since a long time we been silent from a long chat after the raya and everybody was busy with our own matter. i know this is a very such a lousy friendship but tell you what, we never stop asking the news from each other instead we still pray for one another.

thing that make me a lil down here, we getting to a small group.. sob2.. from about 8 of us go down to 5 left. this 5 of us the only people who take note about each other and still mingle and share a few stories together and still laugh at the same joke and drink at the same table and keep the same secret. yes, time make people go change.. that is how time flies.. everything much different and we breaking apart from each other. life, growing up process, moving to one step relationship: these all make everything no same not like a few years back when we in school. i admit; i miss the old time back in school where we were in group. Oh!!!

i don't really want to point over this complaint about the breaking part of our group, or otherwise i will started to cry and bring back the memories of last time... okay... 'stop drama and lets go to the point' ~ lebih baik cerita yang best2 jela....

there was no different over our physically changes.. we still same, err maybe some of us gain weight and maybe some look a lil thin... nak refer kepada diri sendiri la tue... (perkara penting when meet up friends) true! i bet you guys had same like me...  but there is a big topic that really really change among us that we are very rare to discuss and never drag it till the ending. i totally gone insane with this topic when my friend asked me this! and he is repeated the same question over and over till i satisfied him with a good answer....

i understand why this come out from his mouth.. cos we already 24'.. we grown older? that is why this topic is suit for us...  is about getting married.. trust me! you not gonna have any ideas to reply back since you really zero about the planning of getting married! err and till the end of conversation we met the same opinion. we also don't know when we going to end the single status...erhhhh! Allah knows better than us...

Hurmm that is all the topic had been discuss on out met... huh.. we are grown up.. this fast from the kids to this big.... how wonderful life isn't it? well, nothing much besides discussing about career development, tentang kawan itu kawan ini, sape dah kawen sape belum, joke about earn money and laugh about tease people...well much discussing about getting married.... :|

i miss this all time being with friends.. true! the school time was the memorable you never get in this world! cos friend is forever! May He bless us... ameen

Cinta dan Benci

bagaimana cara membuatmu bahagia
nyaris ku menyerah jalani semua
tlah berbagai kata ku ungkap percuma
agar kau percaya cintaku berharga

tak kuat ku menahanmu, mempertahankan cintaku
namun kau begitu saja, tak pernah merindu

sungguh aku tak bisa, sampai kapanpun tak bisa
membenci dirimu, sesungguhnya aku tak mampu
sulit untuk ku bisa, sangat sulit ku tak bisa
memisahkan segala cinta dan benci yang ku rasa

apa kau mengerti ku sedih sendiri
tanpa ada kamu ku merasa sepi

tlah lama ku menantimu, diam sendiri menunggu
setengah hati mencinta, ku sakit karenamu

woo ooo ku sakit karenamu

sungguh aku tak bisa, sampai kapanpun tak bisa
membenci dirimu, sesungguhnya aku tak mampu
sulit untuk ku bisa, sangat sulit ku tak bisa
memisahkan segala cinta dan benci

sungguh aku tak bisa membenci dirimu
sesungguhnya aku tak mampu
sungguh aku tak bisa, sampai kapanpun tak bisa
memisahkan segala cinta dan benci ooo
cinta dan benci ooo yang ku rasa

-Geisha-

Kawan baru

hee... i got new friend.. err err blum lagi.. still asking to be friend with her.. the approval still pending! the other blogger.. at this time, its kind of different cos she is sharing me same feel but not like the rest of my friends... huu

don't worry friends, you still in my heart... 'angkat tangan dua2.. PROMISE"

so Nur Najihah... can we be friend? err... bleh la bleh la... please.... 'bajet dia dengarla kan' heee.....

anyway, selamat berkawan :) 'senyum mengharap'.....................

mute

writing.. backspace... writing again... backspace!

i lost my mojo :(

quotes

"Let Allah be the ruler over your hearts, not the duniya (world)" 


When the world pushes you to your knees, You are in the perfect position to pray. 

Better to avoid the person altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes. 

Reflect on the work of art and you mat attain to the artist. 


The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart. 

Do not ask, "Where is God?" 
Rather ask, "Where am I?" 

Be with Allah. 
You will find Allah with you.

Read more: http://www.forumpakistan.com/islamic-quotes-t6729.html#ixzz1lEBfQeK5

"If Allah brings you to it,He will bring you through it" Twakkul"Make du'a, do your best, And leave the rest to Allah" Be yourself beautiful,and you will find the world full of beauty" "Whoever follows patience, success will follow him" "A friend cannot considered a friend until he is tested in three occasions: In time of need,behind your back, and after your death": -Ali ibn Talib (radiALLAH anhu) "Love all, with sincere love and concern" "Seven days without prayers make one weak"

Read more: http://www.forumpakistan.com/islamic-quotes-t6729.html#ixzz1lECC7XCo