Better in Time

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Going coming

Thought I heard a knock

Who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realize that I really didn't know

If you didn't notice you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All that I know is I'mma be ok

[Chorus:]

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh

Hurt my feelings but that's the path

I'll believe in

And I know time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'mma be ok

[Chorus:]

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go

So I can be free

And live my life how it should be

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you

Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)

It'll all get better in time

.......

Forever U

If there ever becomes a day where we can’t be together,

keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever

the notebook

I don't want to grow up!

Alhamdulillah..I'm having a great work at the same time a wonderful holiday at home... Really really heaven!!! Seems like it flashing back on a few years back at the time I was studying at secondary school.... Mom woke up early about 5.00am, prepared for breakfast, knocked our door wake us up to get bath and *solat*... Preparing for our *bekal* and a bit nagging to us to catch up time to avoid traffic... Oh I miss all the moment and it happen again!!!! Seriously, I miss my teenagers life!

Although I'm not that old and still in group of *remaja* but the memories of sweet sweet time during school had been left quite long.... 6 years I think.. Oh my!!!! See see, how quick time right? Tak sedar kita telah meninggalkan masa yang sangat berharga!!!!!!!!!! In fact, that was the best moment ever.. Having friends around, teachers never scolded you for hoping you as the best among others... Never think about money cos your parents will give you whatever you need, never worried about food cos your parents will feed you every favorite that you like... Everything is so perfect...

But, its all left behind.... We all grown older, many things happen and we are moving to a new life that there are more challenges and independent needed!!!!! No more mom around, no more dad pampered... no best friend in laugh... Its all about being yourself!!!!

And, when time we had surround them, we should appreciate most!! Not only the time but the people themselves... I miss them a lot!!! I miss the moment where I grown up!!! I miss all of the things in my life.... Those memories was so priceless and I thank God for giving me a good health and a strong memory to keep in tight!!!

I realized that future is more adventure, more challenging...I don't know what waiting in future but how if past still the best thing that I couldn't let it go.... Then I remembered what dad always told me... "We are not forget the past! We don't have to let the past go! Just look forward and make your past as your best teacher and you still had both"

The words still in my mind.. and I knew, no matter how I grow, I still a child of mom and dad.... LOVE you BOTH MOM and DAD....

I Love It

Dah lama dengar pasal *Kitab Cinta*.... so baru hari inila sempat tengok cite tue... !st episode jela sempat download... Nak wat cam ne tv kat rumah takde al-hijrah. Anyway lagu OST drama ni memang sedap.. I like!!!! And cerita dia agak best walaupun baru tengok !st episode.... Love Fazura berlakon dalam cite nie...sangat sangat cute!!!!!

So guys...layan la.....

WATCH THIS!!!

Hijrah

"I want a change! Sungguh!!!!"

Surprised!!!!!!!!!!! I never think of this words will coming out from his mind! Well to return back was a good thing! I am the most happiest girl in the world while reading the text!!!! All the doa I had made akhirnya di makbulkan Tuhan.. He listen!!!! Or I don't know if maybe he change for something he hiding from me.... But I don't bother the caused of his returning... Good enough to know he is back on his track and what I've been doing was non stop recite a doa for him. Alhamdulillah Tuhan Maha Agong! Maha Esa dan segala pujian padaMu Tuhanku.....

He will be a perfect one...Insya allah... I wish he will till the end... He got the *hidayah* that he should have a long time a go. I smile although I know what will turn in future... I still thank God for that....

Long time a go, a girl who losing her way, the path she choose brought her to trouble and difficult. Living in hati berbelah bahagi, kehidupan terumbang ambing between baik dan buruk... But Syukran, within the time, she still be protected by Allah for not letting her go astray. Even the faith is shaking, she still believe in Allah and always obey to her God! Again Alhamdulillah...

Today, taubat and doa.. tawakal dan redha, hidayah dan petunjuk.. guide her to be a muslimah and she turns back to the right path... The regrets correct the mistakes.

Now, she make a hijrah to be a better person she should be! She made it! even sometimes things shake her faith!!! LOVE LIFESTYLE PASSION INFLUENCE PLEAS... Those come together, adding with the youth life who always want a try... Its a trial!!!!!! She need to pass the trial... She will :)

Before, she fell in love with a guy that is most perfect in this world to her eyes! Till now she still believe the guy that she loves most is the best ever. She never looked through his weaknesses but he looked up to him... Very much!!!! Later, she said she wants a change to be a better one... The guy confused! Wondering what is happening to the girl... Hey, the girl still loves the guy but the huge love of her is Allah and Parents... She wants a return!!! She said there is nothing wrong with the relationship but she needs Allah's love......

Today, the guy realized and he making a changes! He want a hijrah.... The girl cried!!!!!! He return back!!!!!! Alhamdulillah.........

Doa that she made finally dimakbulkan.... She knows Allah always with her :)

Fraud

I was the person who I can conclude as 'lurus' without the other word 'bendul' next to it. Hey I am! honestly... Whatever you said, in any how you acted, its just through my eyes and ears and no any thoughts of judgement. It just it is. Well, kind of 'budak baikla' but somehow, when things come annoyed me, I might be giving a different side of thoughts! Perhaps to be more negative than the actual truth. See, how 'lurus' it is right! Okay, hold on to the character.

What brought me to this post was the experienced being the person who I am. Well since life was full of challenges, mind is the huge important aspect to live in this biggest challenging world. No matter where you stand on, no matter how clever you are, no matter how high your status, no matter no matter no matter! You need mind! In any circumstances your mind is very needed.. Indeed!!!!!

Let me tell you one story, there was a guy who was holding two girls in his life. One was his fiancee and the other one was his girlfriend of his past. He do love both! Then the fiancee asked him "why do you want to marry me?" the guy said "because i love you". The fiancee smile without knowing that she was been cheated by the guy for having the other girl. The next day, the girlfriend asked him "i want this relationship to be more serious?" The guy answer "wait till i'm ready"... So, guys what can we conclude on... The girlfriend should know is it the lover really love her? or should she be more assertive in the relationship or just forget about it cos love is everything and wait till the guy say goodbye... Well, maybe its to rush and look like gelojoh to do such thing like that..but hey!!! This is about heart. Don't get hurt by the people who not deserved for your tears..

Lie!!! I had faced so much lies from the people I knew. Ain't it truly sad hah? What to do. People lie to escape from truth, or maybe lying is the best to protect from hard feeling! But hey, did you realized, knowing the truth after lie was a pain!!!! Tell you what, from the pain you lost the trust!

I hate liar!!!!!!! Once you lie to me, you break my trust!!!!!!!! Warn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a friend of mine. Well I think he was a good friend for listening to my problem, to gave me support whenever I need a motivation, who always cheered me up when sorrow jump to my day! Well, I felt lucky to be friend with him instead having *my sayang sayang* around. A lot more stories we shared together and even laugh and joke also cried and disappointment.

Seriously, I feel good about him...

But, a few months back, I found something about him... The lies toward my question to him. Well he had right to the answer, whether giving me the truth or lie or whatever he wants to say... But hey, I got a feeling! what turns you up if people lie to you, like you lie to me. Pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!

At the beginning, yes!!!! i am pissed off!!!!!!! Then next, you keep doing the same... lie lie and continuously lying to your words.... and I am used to it! Now, I'm losing your trust! Any words come out from your mouth, I'll take it as a conversation and not as promises. Bad hah! So, this is me... You never know till you really know me. Honestly, I never get mad! I Don't know how to be angry, how to scold... I don't know!!!!!!!! All will turn to sad and regret! That is it!!!!!

When a guy approach you to be one of his special and at the same time he was having a status *in a relationship* on his facebook or twitter, will you take it! how stupid the guy... huuh....

When a guy said "i love you"... Then, when time asking him to hang out with other friends he giving you so many excuses and avoiding such a date with friends. Oh, please... he had bad intention towards you! Its mind to work now!!!!!

It is not to blame a guy, but hey..its to remind you that out there, there is still a girl who used to live in *mind working*. means everything that she did, she think wise and twice and thinking of the 'kesan selepas' even it is not happen yet. It's called *preparing from disaster*! Well maybe terhiperbola sikit but it is! I think that way... Whoever wanna close to me, there still an electric fence to trespassing.

I admit! I ever lie to others... Same goes to others kan? Sape yang tak penah tipu bila keadaan mendesak kan.. tapi janganlah sampai penipuan tu menyakiti dan merosakkan orang lain. Think about it guys! mungkin tak berlaku pada kita, tapi bagaimana jika satu hari nanti ia berlaku pada orang yang kita sayang.....

Simpulkan lah sebaik baiknya! You the one chose for you life!!!!!

;)

'If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you miss finding someone who treats you like a priority '

Mencari Ruang

Terlalu banyak dugaan sejak beberapa hari ini. Cukup untuk katakan sangat mencabar dan perlukan pertimbangan yang amat tinggi... Huuh! Again mengeluh lagi........... Well, what to do? buat ini tak kene, buat itu tak kene... semuanya keliru dan celaru... Losing mood, lost appetite and forget how to smile. Worst!!!!!!! Oh Tuhan je yang tahu hati aku!

Alhamdulillah.............. everything going well.

Praise be to Allah. He calm me in my doa... Cuma perlukan sedikit ruang untuk mencari kekuatan diri... kene bangkit dari kejatuhan! ! Masih belum mampu untuk berdiri teguh. Kadang kadang kenangan lama bermain main balik macam nak duga kesabaran....

Sesungguhnya ujian yang Tuhan berikan ni sangat besar... mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik ujian yang Tuhan berikan. mungkin ini adalah peringatan dari Tuhan kepada kesalahan yang aku buat, mungkin Tuhan nak duga kesabaran dan kesetiaan aku, mungkin Tuhan mahu aku sentiasa berdoa dan bersujud kepadaNya...

Those people who expected me more... Tell you what? I'm sorry... I need a space.... Ruang untuk berada di zon aman dan selesa... Ruang untuk mengumpul kekuatan dan kepercayaan... Ruang untuk mendapat redha dan iman... Ruang untuk mencari cinta illahi... Ruang untuk diri sendiri...

Mungkin bila sampai masa Tuhan bukakan ruang itu! then, I'll be ready :)

Bernafas semula

Dah dua minggu tak update blog! Well since marrying with job, travelling here and there, and the main caused lappy broke down! Again! hee.... such a bad one la :D weeeee

Okay takpe takpe, dah kembali sihat lappy nie setelah dirawat selama sehari. Cuma lepas nie I need to be good to my lappy, kalo tak merana la tak dapat siapkan keje yang berlambak lambak! plus, terbanglah duet beratus ratus lagi...haishhhhhhhhhhh... so wasted!

Since lappy dah ok, dapatla nak karok sampai pagi, update blog sampai lebam, online sampai puas and yang best men game sampai ade symptom2 CTS... Coii coii!!!! mintak simpangla....

So, dapat bernafas balik dari boredom and daydream...ngee!!!

Well...malas nak update panjang panjang cos mood mengantuk dah datang! Inilah rutin harian bila duk sorang sorang, keje yang bertimbun timbun, mood yang bergoncang goncang, hati yang beralun alun...okay stop being more hiperbola! So daripada cakap ngan dinding and melanguk tepi tingkap baik mendapatkan rehat yang secukupnya.........................

daaaaa~~~

Tweet Tweet

After taking a long think, I finally had *Twitter*... gee!! hahaha... Oh please! rasanya ramai je orang yang dah berkurun ade twitter kan. Anyway, ape ada hal? *tangan naik atas mata terbeliak*

And bila dah create an account kat twitter, tiba tiba terfikir, buat pe nak twitter kan? FB kan dah ada and I think I spent lot of time on FB! Well I might be thinking soon. Hummmm

Okay whatever! The thing is I already had Twitter! Well still study using twitter right now! Maybe will be more maju soon...heeeeeee

Got a go... wanna continue watch Cerekarama ;)

still working on it!

An appreciation

When I was waiting for train to come there was something pop out from my head that remind me about what had just happened before I left 'Hospital'.

Y: la dieba kenapa ko sekejap sangat?
Me: nak wat cam ne puan. saya kene kerja tempat lain.
Y: ko tak payahla pegi mane mane, stay sini je.
Me: *smile*
Y: aku suka ko duk sini. tak payah pegi tempat lain. suh orang lain je...
Me: *smile* takpe nanti orang baru datang mesti lebih bagus.

I end the conversation with smile and salam while holding tears from drop in front of them. Deep inside my heart, I love all of them but my job ends and I should leave. I don't know how much they meant for the words but I wish it was a good meant from them. :)

Four months back, before I left Sabah, there was a one guy told me that I should be back or the meaning was I should stay for much longer. Its either extended the period of my working time or staying for a new job. Oh I feel good for appreciation by people surround but I could not stay far from the place that I belong to.

A month back, I left a few places which it given me a lot of opportunities to calm and *muhasabah diri*. The day that I left those places, they wave hand for a separation where we don't know whether we had chance to meet again! Again, denied myself of the sadness from separated.

A few weeks back, I'm losing my best room mate by moving out to a better place that called *home*. My heart shaking for her gone but hey! she still alive, she is having a good life and she wish me to be the same way that she had. Girl! you gonna make it. Let smile again :)

A week back, I met one that I love most. He still the same as before he left. 'I miss him a lot '
Should I tell him that I miss him all the time... Nope! cos he can feel it.

Every places I went to, brought me a lot of sweet sweet moment together! Its very hard hah to let it go. Sometimes we strong enough to face the *bye bye* moment but sometimes we never care what *bye bye* means for. It just come and go like a man walk the sideways.

I admit! I'm the bad one in saying goodbye. I don't want to say a word of leave but I'm saying I'm gonna miss! Its hard when people around you appreciate you most while you realized you are not giving them all your best. But maybe, the sincerity cover up the weaknesses.

I learn! Learn to be a good one among the best... I know it is not easy to get people to like me. Not all people will like us. But they do! They find a pleasure to work with me and mingling with them was the best experience I should never forget!

So hey, let's live in a cool life. Forget to cry and sad. Let's find happiness together then we make it fun :) Insyaallah we gonna find it!

Huzn

A word as the opposite of joy and happiness. It is expressing feeling of pain and hurt to the heart. There was a sorrow and sadness inside where no one knows how suffer it is till its killing the soul.

Cry! Ain't it obviously to happen? I am! I am! I am! and I don't know how to stop. I can't find way to smile. I am definitely in weeping and wailing to the tragic history of love.

Again! its breaking it as it called *broken heart*

I rather stay behind and keep crying than telling you how I felt now. I hate to be like this!

Stay alone and away from support and motivation are really hard. :(

Huh!

Give me the *Strong Me* back! I wanna it back!!!!

***********sssshhhh**********

I'm thinking! Allah hates people who always give up and didn't accept Qada' and Qadr... Why are you forget Him? Why are you crying? You shouldn't be... Ain't you think that?

Make a doa. He will listen and help out no matter how trouble you. Just make a doa! Trust Him for all your heart and soul! Tawakal and Redha was the peace of your heart.