Reminder

Lesson for tonight! Remember and keep remain in head.
Don't be too kind to a guy!
Must not!

Some will misunderstood to our sincerity toward them
Some might take an advantage from us
Some might think we fall for them
Some might think we *bodek* them

So it's better to stay out a lil bit
Make a gap between the relation
Make sure we safe from him

p/s: those who is a stranger guy

LOVE

Quote for today


TO LOVE SOMEONE IS NOTHING,
TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE IS SOMETHING,
TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS EXCITING,BUT....
TO BE LOVED BY ALLAH IS EVERYTHING!!!

Still

I felt bad today!
I don't know who to talk too
Thanks to listen my story
I appreciate your concern

You really such a best friend
Thanks again
But I still sorry
I can't keep the promise

Promise...
To meet you again

And of course
You know better
Than I felt
Forgive me :(

---> heart

I wanna sleep early
I wanna stop thinking
I wanna forget you
I wanna fade you away
I wanna be strong
I wanna stand from cry
I wanna tie the broken heart
I wanna you leave
I wanna run from mad
I wanna close my eyes
I wanna pretend that you not around
I wanna do anything to let the feeling go
I wanna hate you
I wanna end my love for you

Cos today you hurt me so badly!!!!

Little girl

“jangan lupa baca doa sebelum tido”

I still remember when I was a little girl; dad always companied me during bed time till I fell asleep. He won’t leave me and mom always tucks me in when I was sleeping. Oh i miss them a lot. I want to be that little girl again. I want to be pampered by mom and dad all the time. I want my parents stay by my side. How bad I felt now. Huh!!!

I miss them. I miss them!

Come on dieba! You are a big girl now. Big girl don’t cry L

I am a big girl? But not to mom, not to dad and not to kakak too. They still treat me as a little girl who needs more attention and protection even we are distance away. I admit! I was such “manja” among siblings but it never stops me from being an independent girl. They still taught me to be independent! Stand on own feet. Never easily give up and be a strong person that I should be!

I’m not weak! But sometimes I felt that way when time I need them very badly, and I couldn’t find them! I used to leave in *kehidupan yang di manjakan* by them. So, when time turn to be this way, i felt terrible! Cry cry cry!!!

I pray this feeling goes away Allah. Please calm me and cheer my day. ameen

Night :)

There is no twice

lelaki: "percayalah. saya sayangkan awak sepenuh hati saya"
perempuan: "betul ke? saya tak percaya"
lelaki: "kenapa tak percaya? apa yang awak nak saya buat supaya awak percaya saya?"
perempuan: diam....sambil tersipu sipu malu
lelaki: "kita couple ea?"
perempuan: mengangguk

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< beberapa minggu selepas itu >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

lelaki: "sayang jom kita keluar nak?"
perempuan: "nak ke mana?"
lelaki: "jalan jalan. rindula..."
perempuan: "tapi dah lewat ni"
lelaki: : "takpe. lewat la best... kalau lambat, tido rumah abang je"
perempuan: "eh tak nak la"
lelaki: "ala ape salahnya. rumah abang kosong. member member balik kampung"
perempuan: "tak nak la"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< beberapa bulan selepas itu >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

lelaki: "abang sayang sangat kat sayang. rindu la "
perempuan: "sayang pun sama"
lelaki: "malam ni datang rumah abang ea?"
perempuan: "ok abang. i love u"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ketahuilah bahawa tiada cinta yang lebih indah selain mencintai Allah dan ibu bapa.
tiada lafaz yang lebih agung seagung ayat suci al quran
tiada janji yang menjanjikan kebahagiaan selain janji Allah untuk menghadiahkan al jannah
cinta ibu bawa ke syurga
kasih bapa sampai mati

*people make mistakes because we not perfect, then we start looking the right by doa, solat and ampun then, Allah perkenankan. He said "aku makbulkan", we had hidayah... alhamdulillah. we obey to Him, we never turn back, we sujud taubat, we said syukur, we cried for the wrong and He said "aku ampunkan.*

percayalah, Tuhan itu Maha Adil, Maha Pengasih, Maha Pengampun dan Maha Agung

tapi, berjanjilah bahawa tiada lagi kali kedua

Travel again

just finish packing bag. off to Kuala Kubu Baru...Huh! malas betul nak berangkat ke sana plus kene travel sorang diri...lagila tak suka :(

mood nak travel belum datang lagi, tu yang tak senang je hati... :|

pray everything fine and nothing trouble come within that time... Dengar cite tempat tu agak sunyi and susah nak dapat public transport...haish

Hurm.. takpe takpe bertenang ye dieba! its only a week, so kene kuat kan semangat ea.... :) insyaallah......

semoga Allah melindungi hambanya yang memohon perlindungan daripada segala kesusahan dan perkara buruk...ameen

Happy Birthday U

Today is your birthday. I am sad cos unable to wish you on your day. I don't know where you are now and there is no any way to connect with you... I just hope you fine and pink in well. Wherever you stay now I pray for your safety and always in healthy.

I just leave you an email, so you can read my message and know that you never been forgotten.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY U

The antidote for enemies is one friend

A single rose can be my garden... A single friend is my world - Leo Buscaglia

title for entry by Aristotle

I was standing besides my window staring outside, there was rain and cold day :) How sweet my day if besties around having a lil chit chat while enjoying the smell and taste of *pisang goreng and cup of tea*.. Oh well! Again day dreaming :|

There is no one here, no friend, no mom, no dad, no sister, no boyfriend... I am all alone... a lonely girl with the long face thinking about her past and dreaming of changing the past to be a fairytale story like she had been dreaming... Full of joy, blissful, blessed, smirk, fantasy, and all in a perfect words :D

Again! she is dreaming. Then she smile :) "I'll be fine without them around" because she knows she had Allah to be with her as long as she still and keep obey to Him. Then she smile again :) "I still need them in the world call *life*".

She sat on the chair with the fingers running on the keyboard typing words by words to describe how wonderful her life having a good friends around. :) She never thought to had such a precious friends than others. Then she cries! She don't know she cries for? Deep inside her heart she truly loves everyone and appreciate them more than she had...

She think she knows better why she cries for? She knew they will be gone one day! That's what she terrified on. Losing people that she loves most is the hardest part that she can't accept. Do you know why? She never hate her friends. No matter how much you hurt her, no matter how much she complaint about, no matter how much she fight you, no matter how much she sad because of you. Hey listen! she always loves you :)

She saw the pictures of you! she smile :) memorable moment together... we laughed, we smile, we cried, we holding hand, we hug each other! She smile :)

She wrote this to tell you how much she loves you! she wants you to know she will never forget her friends till dead separate us! and she want to say *FRIENDS FOREVER*

One day if we separate, please do keep in touch :) because love and longing never break us...
LOVE YOU FRIENDS :)

Let go

aku biarkan perasaan itu pergi
mungkin dah sampai masa tuhan tarik balik
mungkin tuhan mahu kurniakan sesuatu yang lebih baik
ada hikmah disebalik

aku redha
biarkan berlalu perlahan lahan
supaya kita tak terkejut
supaya kita tenang

sedih
dah terlalu lama masa
kenal ketawa dan derita
cinta dan kecewa

petunjuk demi petunjuk
kumat kamit doa
air mata pasrah
akhirnya ada rahmat dari Allah

terima
alhamdulillah
walau belum cukup kuat
kena jadi gagah

terpaksa
walau sukar
mungkin itu jalan terakhir
sebab aku tak mampu

berdiam diri seketika
bila mampu untuk bersuara
semua akan tahu
kita tak ada apa apa


sayang cinta dan kasih
rindu nun jauh
tiada benci tiada marah
cuma jodoh berakhir

tuhan beri petunjuk
jalan yang lebih luas
cahaya yang tenang
hidup yang aman

cinta ini
cinta abadi
dari hati
bawa ke syurga

percaya
tiada pengganti yang memisahkan cinta
cuma kerana Allah

Feeling a bit flat

I hate my job!!!!
huu at the moment la...maybe because of the environment sekarang yang tak berapa nak bagus..
tak seronok..lebih best kalau pegi outstation..senang kata i miss sabah day..its better than here :)

Oh tidak ape yang berlaku nie..kenapa aku rindukan sabah!
hurm...maybe sebab perasaan tidak seronok kat office yang buat aku rindukan sabah...huuu

and i miss home :( kalaula mom and dad here...i think i feel better....huu memang anak mak ngan ayah betul kan!

pray to Allah... Insya allah He will calm me in my doa...ameen :)

Prisoners of our past

Long time a go, we make mistakes! we don't know which one is good, we stuck in life of choosing, we blind to see the truth. we deaf to hear advised, we confused between this or that.

Then, we faced a failure! we live in misery! we cried for useless of our mistakes!
we regrets

Today, we grow up. we think better, we make a good decision, we become wiser than wise, we success, we look further, no looking back, we are stronger than we know, we laughed at loud, we smile in grinned!

BUT

Past still haunt
Its immortal
No way to erase
No road to run
No magic to pull out

We felt more regrets
we blame ourselves
we start complaint to head

'kalaulah aku tak pilih jalan tu', 'kenapalah aku bodoh sangat'

SAD FROWN

Then, we heard murmur on ears
*past is past*
*don't look back till you drop*
*don't regrets till you die*
*don't cry for nothing you could change*
*get the spunk*
*move on*
*reach the stars*
*forget no, lesson to it*
*believe in yourself*

WAKE UP

*our heart stronger*
*we fight back*
*we never listen to the blame*
*we forgot how to cry*
*we had a thicker soul*

Do you know how we had the soul back?
Because Allah always with us

Thoughtless

i was waiting for something hard to earn
important yet worth
but
without my realized
i lost it

neither to lose but more to waste
now i felt a little under a weather
pointless
blank
no words

my heart broke
TRUE!
all my mistake s

i did not care
i did not concern
i am a careless
i am a jerk

I never know till I regret

Shoot the goal

Seriously this year moving so quick without realizing it... Its April now... So much thing happen to come and go and I'm going through it all with calm and pleased...alhamdulillah

I remember last year when I started active blogging, I'll make sure everyday I have idea inspired by nature, experience, random thought, environment and even feeling to update the post in blog. Seems like addicted to update all the event that I had... Yeah.. Its reveal now! How kalut I am updating the blog by posted entry by entry every night just because of one reason. *Jealous toward some blogger who already had thousands of readable post... Haish! I can't only sit and be a silent reader with mind stuck contained billion of words to express.. There you go! post by post every night...

Just having a quick review about the post that I created. Amazing, I wrote much than I spoke! Huh.. everybody knows that I was a quiet person who just sit besides and only smiling and laughing for a joke that they had made. Well, Its different right between straightly speak and spontaneously write. Writing is the thing that come out from your mind and its kind of a freedom without any rebel or argument but compared speak to others, sometimes we need to mull over the words before it pop out from mouth. It will hurt one without aware... True! Its so true especially if the one that we hurt keeping it hard, so we been hated by that person.

Honestly, I'm bad in speech... I need a script to present a talk though a short speech. Funny thing is the result will be only a few words. I usually speak significant rather than nagging a joke. Hah bad bad!!! But after a few months practicing by meeting and mingle with people I become an outspoken person to the appropriate situation. I always put in mind *do not cross the line* By not annoying people with my phrase and attitude.

Yeah! That was what I achieved for over years from the time when I studies. And now I am making a list for new goals. There are a few goals I did not achieved but its getting closed and I believe I can pull off those and it will be accomplish well...

It just a few steps forward but I still doubt whether I could reach the stars because the journey is still long to be gone through.

Insyaallah Allah sentiasa berada bersama sama...

Happy Birthday sayang

I admit! I was such a lousy kakak ... I am a forgetful ...
Oh my bad!!!

How come I forgot to wish birthday to my little princess.. adehs.. so sorry.... anyway, I had make it up with a phone call... HUH!!!

Wish you Happy Birthday my little sister :)

*semoga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki dan di berikan kesihatan yang baik serta kejayaan di dunia dan di akhirat*
ameen

mom called me and they was celebrating her birthday without me with the lovely moist chocolate cake.... huu rugi rugi!!!!

Its okay, i'll make sure next time I wont be miss it
..yeah..

RINDU KAMU SEMUA

Itulah rahmat

" innarahmatallahi qaribun minal mukhsinin"

Sesungguhnya rahmat Allah itu dekat pada orang orang yang berbuat baik

One thing that we always do when trouble had around was make a pray and recite a doa. Does any of us do because of Allah? Or we just do because the trouble that we made. subhanallah...

Bounties are Allah's grace. Undeniable, Allah is Rahman! He bestowed us a lot than our needs. but do we syukur, do we say alhamdulillah, or do we 'sujud ampun'? we did! alhamdulillah He keep bestowed us the 'rahmat' till our last breathe.

Today, He made the flooding around us and non stop raining with the storm. kita mengeluh kesah;

"habislah rumah kita"
"rosaklah perabot aku"
"musnahlah bendang aku"

"I hate flood" this might be the words you have said all the day of banjir. I know how much suffer people who faced banjir. I did saw on my neighbours, friends and relatives. How difficult they are, need to stay in the house full of water and need to stay at *tempat perlindungan sementara* and somes sleep under the canopies. How bad they need to face.... More worst is after the flood recede. everyone is busy cleaning the house with the mud and sludge and even rearrange the furniture and suffer the severe lost especially when it comes to their incomes...

Innalillah... BUT

Believe Allah... There is wisdom behind.. it just we did not see, we did not notice we did not figure what Allah had trying to convey.

He want us to know life is not about to standing own your feet! NO NO NO!!!!!

He want us to remember each other
He want us to help each other
He want us to love each other
He want us had sympathy
He want us wake up from lalai
He want us to realize and start insaf
He want us to be humble
He want us to say Syukur
He want us to knee Him for rahmat
He want us keep pray.. DOA DOA DOA adalah segala penawar dunia
and remember

He don't want us to forget HIM

entry ini ditulis ketika saya bercuti di kampung dan baru dapat post sebab idea untuk last paragraph baru dapat hari ni... :)

Adventure on day three

wake up on 6am and get myself ready to leave KK. Exciting to go to next destination... *kundasang* Actually I been inviting to visit Kundasang a few months back when my students asked me to go during my Sabah day last November. unfortunately, hajat tidak kesampaian due to loads of work.

But i did it! finally, sampai jugak kaki aku nak ke sana. melihat keindahan ciptaan Tuhan... menikmati kesegaran udara, mengagumi kurniaan Illahi :) wah... *ada gaya penyajak pulak* hee... okeh okeh..stop being dramatic :|

After taking our breakfast in hotel, we heading to Terminal Wawasan to take bus to Kundasang. There are a few options you can choose. Its either you drive a car or taking bus. For both of us, we decided to feel the adventure with travel by bus. First, take bus at terminal wawasan to Inanam. Then, exchange the bus from Inanam to Kundasang. Its about 2 hours to arrived depends on kelajuan sesebuah kenderaan...

things you should know about going to Kundasang is
* jalan berbukit bukit
* jalan bengkang bengkok
* siap sedia bawa plastik - yang tak tahan mabuk aka muntah
* dont forget your sweater
* put your camera tound the neck cos along the way to kundasang you will see the mount Kinabalu... cantik! cantik!
* if you really pencinta alam, please make sure you apply a few days leave...
* dont forget bring bekalan mineral water...cos its cold and need much water....
* bring a long the map *list of your place to visit in kundasang*
* dont miss to try the veggie kat sane...super fresh...
* place to visit - hot spring, mesilau farm, kinabalu national park, tempat sejarah war II (tak ingat name dia)
* dont be surprise when you get there.. cos kundasang macam tempat yang tak membangun...hee honestly, masa kami turun dari bus tepi jalan, we quite shock because we wonder what place are this? hahahhaha... *tanah merah and not much building* hanya bukit bukau yang hijau dan kabus tebal...huu
* tempat tinggal.. dont worry!!! :) banyak homestay dan hotel kat sana. if you wanna stay there, i suggested you to try a night in *Kinabalu Pine Resort* memang cantik dan best tempat tue... or you can choose return back to KK...

so, tak banyak tempat yang dapat kami luangkan di sana but we still have fun and amazed by Allah's creation... The beauty view and fresh air... how perfect the place... :)

Mount Kinabalu! super gorgeous ciptaan Tuhan!!!! we cant see in the early morning and during sunset...cos it covered by fog.... but you will be wide open eyes and speechless luxuriate the beauty....

Alhamdulillah that was my last destination in Sabah and I have completed the days with love, joy and safe..... Syukran Allah sentiasa memelihara dan melindungi kami :) syukran syukran syukran! Kalau diberi kesempatan untuk ke sana lagi, it will be my pleasure... Insya allah....

Pictures will be upload soon.... :)

Day two with love

I had plan to visit this place since last year. Disebabkan tidak berkesempatan atas urusan kerja I finally arrived Pulau Manukan... yeayy!!! So excited and can't wait to berenang renang and having fun here...

We went to Pulau Manukan by boat waiting at Jesselton Point. Get the ticket from the counter and there a few sports water offer and we choose to do *parasailing* and *mandi mandi*. My friend had chose to snorkeling but I refused not to do so since I'm not really good in swimming and even trauma about my past *huu*... so I decided not to join her.

While in the boat, I was non stop praying Allah to keep us away from bad things until we reach Pulau and at the same time I was amazed by the beauty of His creation. Alhamdulillah, we safely arrived the pulau. Wow!!! there was no words to describe how beautiful the view, the clear water, the variety beauty fish.. the fresh air...All the gift bounty from Him :) Can't believe I was here... cantik cantik cantik!!!!!! *the words come from my mouth from the beginning till the end*

spending our time by taking some pictures..eh eh..not some but lots of pictures...Very much exciting! taking here, there and there...so cool!!! pose like a super model and didn't care if anybody stare at us! who care? we are on our holiday.. we had our fun and joy... Then, we change clothes to start our first activity in Pulau *parasailing*...

What is it? I dont really get the details about the activity but know that the activity from the pictures given and describe by the kakak at the counter... look pretty much cool and quite interesting. Then prepared to go... wow can't imagine how I felt in the air with the balloon upstairs at middle of the sea...Feel some dizzy and scared... *dup dap dup dap jantung* 15 minutes in the air feel like an hour..hahaha..just cant wait to stop the activity...hee

as we landed on the boat..my heartbeat fast and going to vomit. OMG! OMG! I feel bad and getting worse adding with the stomachache.... As we arrived the jetty I just walk straight to the toilet...huu vomit and had diarrhea... God! I feel so bad :( feel like I wanna cry and go home stay with mom...huhuhu.... Then I just take rest at the coast watching my friend snorkeling...

then I remember why I had this bad day!!! Oh *food poisoning*... This must be because of makan makan semalam..Yes it is!!!!!! sangat teruk! I had these before and I recognized the symptoms very well...huu.. apa nak buat kan..very bad stomachache together with bad vomit...huu Just pray it going to be okay soon....

after a few hours then, we leaving Pulau at 1pm as we promised the pak cik to wait at jetty and went back to KK... Then we had lunch at kedai Nasi Padang Ibu @ Jesselton Point. Honestly, I'm truly hungry tapi disebabkan food poisoning, I lost my appetite...huu After makan makan we walk to Suria Sabah walaupun keadaan perut yang sering menyerang...haish! Tapi sebab tak ade lagi masa nak jalan jalan kat KK so pegi jugaklah and dont wanna waste our time spend at hotel...

on afternoon, we already in hotel.. taking rest and nap.. and I was so lembik due to lose lots of water in body caused by diarrhea... Nothing to do to cure the diarrhea but I make option to drink a milk rather than going to clinic.. alhamdulillah its getting better..

Next entry will be the day 3 in Sabah... :)

Safe journey with grin...

few days back I was worrying about my 4 days holiday in Kota Kinabalu since there were tsunami in Japan. Alhamdulillah now I'm sitting on my chair writing this entry with the quiet room in office without anyone besides me. Again! Syukur... :)

People might wonder why should I worry for the beautiful holiday... we all know KK is one of the city that close to the ocean. then, of course we should be prepare for any inconvenience. I can't denied that feelings within the time we spent at KK. Oh how bad it is, negative thinking had controll my head, subhanallah... all I remember just my parents at home and being in KL is much better than being in KK with this misery.

Syukran... All days in Sabah is went good and well. Just a few things happen to me and it make me more muhasabah diri...

as we arrived at KK, we took taxi and went to the hotel. we had booked the hotel early so it much easier for us. *Lavender Lodge* not too expensive and not too *murah2*. Just average and nice. the staff is really kind and friendly... welcome us with smile and hati yang gembira...

check in and take rest for a while before we decided to go out for a walk and *makan makan* since we both are really hungry. Then we walk to *Centre Point* and cuci cuci mata sket... after a few hours spent at Centre Point we heading to *Warisan Square* and lepak lepak at secret recipe (ah macam KL takde secret recipe kan)... then, waiting till afternoon and we heading to *Pasar Philipine*...

*pasar philipine* nothing more than exciting to eat *pisang goreng and chicken wing* hahaha... macam kat KL takde pisang goreng kan? tell you, this is the best pisang goreng I ever had... and one more is chicken wings... you had to try yourself! before we makan makan, I companied my sayang Madhiyah Yahaya for a cuci mata at the *pearl shop*. MUST!!!! If you in KK, dont miss pout to buy pearl especially *kaum wanita* ea... nice pearl with reasonable price...(kene pandai tawar)...

so we end the first day in KK with makan *seafood bakar*! so dengan tamak and jayanya we both order for the *ikan bakar and sotong bakar* bersama sama *rumpai laut and sambal belacan* walla weiii terangkat betul sambal belacan...hee pedas sepedas pedasnya.... memang terbaik!!!! alhamdulillah we went hotel dengan perut yang penuh and muka kenyang..hee

next entry will be the second day in KK.... ;)

Terkebil-kebil

olla! assalammualaikum wbt....
just quick update sebelum check in pulnang ke KL... hee wonder where aku online kan diri tuk update entry kan...kat cc airport je..
semate mate nak check ticket fl;ight balik KL....hampeh! boleh plak lupakan pukul brape tiket flight..haish.....
nasib baek tak kene tinggal..
okehlah,, gtg...sebab kat cc nie pon 15 minit je per rm2...adehs..mahal betul!!!!!
c ya!!!

Quick update

tajuk entry shows how busy my life now...hee
just quick update sebelum meninggalkan blog nie bersarang sekejap for the lovely holiday...hee
tapi yang merunsingkan sekarang, kesihatan aku yang tak mengizinkan untuk enjoy puas puas...huu...
takpelah just pray that the sick go away.. boleh ke?

blimey! pills again :|
terpaksalah bawak bekalan ubat sekali...
fever, flu and sore throat...
tiga serangkai, memang terbaik la.....

Okey, gtg.. need to pack my bag and prepare for tomorrow...
will be update my holiday next entry...
pray for my safety.. ameen :)

Right decision by not hurting mine

curiosity had control my mind at midst of this midnight. i'm alone while others had been sweetly dream on bed. I just view page of someone that I used to know *my months ex, before my U*... Honestly, i did not really wanna say about our relationship or whatever about the things happen between us. its done! its not who dumped who... its better to keep in secret what is the causes we end the relationship.

i actually really upset to know something that reveal just now... He's got new girlfriend...alhamdulillah finally he finds the ones who can replace me. or better than me. syukran! at least he wont be alone and had someone to love with. its not the matter what i am upset with! just view the pictures and the wall and its really make me so sad *toward him* is because he's trying to pursue me back to him after we break but in the other hand he already got a new one.

OMG! you really cry to me, begging me with your sweet talk, convince me how much you care about me, how much you love me and even you lie to me to seek my attention. Huh! this is really can't be happening!!!!!!!!!

I'M LUCKY! i make a right decision by not getting back to you. Maybe Allah had give me the clue and I can feel it! alhamdulillah.... But I'm not blame you! maybe its time for you to find someone since you know that i am not giving you any chance after all we been through... I didnt mad! I pray for your happiness..... Just live your life and have a great future.... :)

Tidak dapat dibendung

perasaan yang sangat risau sekarang! dah hampir sebulan tiada berita dari kamu... huu

saya sedih!

betul!
saya tak dapat lagi tahan...
saya rindu kamu
:(

saya akan doakan kamu semoga selamat
insyaallah

He would listen