i doubt..

teringat cerita cerita lucu masa kat tempat kerja tadi..macam macam dorang cerita dari temapt tempat yang menarik kat sabah ni sampaila makanan makanan pelik yang aku rasa aku sendiri tak penah dengar masa aku duduk KL. may be memang tak ade or aku yang tak pernah amik tau kot.

tapi tadi memang happening and enjoy gila kerja memang tak ade stress langsung especially bila bos besar sekepala bercerita dengan kitorang...hypeeeeeeeee!!!!best2 di tambah dengan terapis mr.alex and mr.manuel yang lucu.....suke dorang sangat2....

part yang paling best is bila dorang bercerita itu ini aku plak tercengang2 sebab tak paham aka tak dapat nak bayangkan ape yang dorang cuba sampaikan and mulala dorang gelak kan aku....tapi disebalik gelak tu dorang bagitau jugala....

act bukanla nak cerita sangat pasal petang tadi..just mukadimah je....entry ni act nak cite sal hati and perasaan!!!!ter touch la plak malam ni...

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its act been so long in mind, keep thinking and wondering and sometimes its make me anxious and kind of stress.......

i doubt!!!!!thats the word that i can describe myself at this moment.. i doubt when people getting close, i doubt when people wanna make a relationship,i doubt when guy wanna start a connection, i doubt when guy trying to get to know me, i doubt when guy ask me about the past, i doubt when guy ask me about my feeling, i doubt when guy tell their feeling, i doubt when guy keep texting me, i doubt when guy keep calling me, i doubt when guy ask too many thing bout my personal..i doubt..i doubt...i doubt....

i just dont know what should i feel, may be i took it too serious or i am too emotional, maybe i should be more relax and just let nothing happen. but at the same time i cant do that. of course i should have something cos i'm alive, i got mind, i got heart, i got feeling, i should have all....

i hate this kind of feeling. sometimes i was thinking that this is not a doubt but kind of paranoid.

oh no!!!!!i dont want that feeling....

its obviously seen to my friend, we texted, we talk, i shared my stories, i tell my happiness and sadness, i tell what i feel today, i let my friend know my problems, i got some advices and my friend too kind to me.... but there is something that i really seen to my friend lately, he getting so far...a distance away...i dont know!!!!i doubt to my friend, does he really good friend or just a temporary after all....i doubt honestly.....should i move on with this relation or just end it up!!!

i dont know.....God , i need you to guide me in every of my doa.....

i didnt really hate my friend, it just i dont feel good toward my friend right now....i dont know, its only if i could tell it in words.....maybe i should stop for a while and let me cool down and find the right way....(i dont know if i found it)..i doubt you cos i suddenly feel that i dont trust you...oh!!!!!!!i dont know.......

perhaps i should end all this~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~