Escape..

its been quite long I haven't update any entries. well, doesn't mean I'm busy or anything that related to work. It just I am very unmotivated and feel like someone stole my mood. every time I'm sitting in front lappy and fingers playing on board, I was like a dumb person who just been froze and head stuck with full of stress. it was like you have nothing in head. its empty!!! You don't know what you should write and you lost your words. That worse!!!!!

I could say I had thousand of ideas in mind that I would like to post but because the stuck of head caused the delay! HuH!!!! That's my problem and at the end I just leave those stories went together with wind. :)

Okay. first of all was about my working place. Seriously I am totally out of mood and bored to talk about it. It mess and I really appreciate if people won't ask me about work thing especially regarding the stress environment. You never know how rush I am to complete this work. Every morning run out toward patient. Grab them for a treatment and struggling finish my documentation and further need to go back and do some revision especially the medical term that not familiar to me yet similar to them. well,that what should the newer do kan?

Hurm.. okay forget about work things! this is the story that I really hate most to talk about. when it turn to heart feeling I was like "OH Please"...I just hope that I won't have any kind of trouble heart feeling but the truth I am die hard trouble in heart feeling. Seriously, I am so crazy of thinking this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my bad. Having one that i love most and at the same time falling to someone that care much more than what you want! i don't know how crazy I am! but the thing is he already had someone else and I don't deserve him. every time I try to tell him how I feel about him, something was stop me from doing so. What? I have no answer .

Whatever it is I just keep that. Just let me feel it inside me. I don't want to be sad for his rejected. :( let me love him from here and pray for his life. :) but my friend told me something

say "i love you" to a person that u love before its to late....

What else could I do if I have no courage to do so. So the solution let it be a story of my heart... :(

and LOVE. I knew something about him that hurt me so much. Hurm.. May God bless him but my love for him never end.... sob sob sob :'(

Trying to escape from these troubles but God had His plan and He still wanna test me. No matter how trials I faced, I wish I always be able to stand to fight back. I miss my life where I was a kid. I don't need to face these misery yet I don't need to think about these matters because I know mom and dad were always be here to pampered me in any matter I felt....

oh I miss them and I miss my sayang kak dhiah. Wish she will be here to be a shoulder to cry on..... :(