My acute

recently i struggle with emotion, i fight with doubt, i blame my flaws and i reaching my hopeless... 

poor motivation' perkataan yang lebih sesuai untuk diterangkan...'

my bad. sigh....

today, i treated one of my patient who previously was so depress, crying over his life 'leave by children because of the disabilities', hopeless about being alive, give up on trying, and most missing his family. but... just now, he was smiling, he was teasing people, he making a joke, he don't cried as he did last time in every session, he never missed the smile in a seconds, he stronger than what he was before, he was talking so much...he is getting better and he was like getting a miracle for presenting himself today compared to what i have seen him before..
Impressive!

I have been told by soul; he is only an old man who is going to lose some of his and i was a young lady who are stronger than him and have everything that i able to get. 

but... 

my heart weak, 

i am hopeless in a while just because of the unmotivated mood.

Sesungguhnya Allah menguji dia lebih daripada ape yang aku diuji... subhanallah....

i lost my syukur... sudden

today, when i saw him... istiqamah, doa, syukur dan redha are overwhelming...
my spirit go up high!
i have my spunk...
i beat them up 'unmotivated, sober and anxious'

```exhale..... i'm awake!

sometimes, there is a time when we feel a little under the weather and sometimes we feel like the heart skip a beat..and sometimes there is a sorrow and disappointment over the head.. but, He heals with people around, the scenario surroundings and sometimes He opens our heart... He makes our eyes clear with wisdom and hikmah.... despite the nikmat yang diberikan He choose us among the others for the hidayah....

because we are the umat 'slave' who always put Him in heart, soul and life in any situation we are facing. wallahualam... may what i thought was right... insyaallah...ameen...