Ulat

Tonight I'm gonna be an *ulat buku*

hee

Good luck for test and presentation tomorrow!

berdebar-debar sebab dah lama tak present nie..

Duh duh duh!

Darjat is not Perfection!

nobody born to be disabling

but it doesn't mean everybody perfect!

but He is the one who set us to be what we should be

and the gift from Him

much much more appreciable

and the question is.

do we syukur (thank) for His anugerah (gift)?

do we redha (accept) for His dugaan (trials)?

do we still obey to Him?

or,

do we only get back to Him when trouble comes?

hey, we should look back and check ourselves whether we have answer these questions right or feel guilt and doubt!

today,

He gave us the wealth

not all of us because some living in the deprived circumstances

but have we ever thought

why He choose them to be in that circumstance?

while we enjoying the happiness and prosperity

hurmm.. Because He Almighty!

He is entitled to make decision for His creature

Darjat!

greatness in the life of the world

sometimes caused us to forget our own roots

and forget to syukur (thank) and sujud (bow down) Him

and make us to be as proud as arrogant to life

finally, we be hated by words and attitude

believe!

we only the weak one

He lent this world and luxury for a time He say

*I want all of this back*

sudden plunder!

we fell to earth, cry and struggling look for Him

ask for doa and taubat (returning) but we blind about agama (faith),

till we learn and we got the way,

but, He is already has His plan

He take our breath!

listen!

Allah never choose His creature from Darjat but He choose for amal and soleh.

Pada masa hayat rasulullah s.a.w, pernah terjadi pula peristiwa yang hampir sama. Seorang yang bernama Abu Zar Al-Giffari yang sedang berbincang dengan orang negro

di hadapan Rasulullah. Perbicaraan antara keduanya, rupanya semakin panas sehingga Abu Zar mengeluarkan kata-kata ‘ ya-bna-saudaa,’ yang bermaksud; Hai anak keturunan kulit hitam..

Maka ketika itu juga Rasulullah memandang Abu Zar sambil berkata ;

طف الصاع! طف الصاع! ليس لابن البيضاء علي ابن السؤداء فضلا الا بعمل صالح

Ertinya; ‘’ keterlaluan, keterlaluan..tidak ada kelebihan kulit putih atas keturunan kulit hitam kecuali dengan amal yang soleh.’’

Firman Allah:

يايها الناس اناس انا حلقنكم من ذكر وانثي وجعلنكم شعوبا وقبا ئل لتعارفوا^ج ان اكرمكم عند الله اتقكم^ج ان لله عليم حبير ﴿31﴾

Ertinya: wahai manusia, sesungguhnya kami jadikan kamu dari lelaki dan wanita, dan kami jadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan bersuku-suku, supaya kamu saling kenal mengenal. Sesungguhnya orang yang paling mulia dalam pandangan Allah ialah mereka yang paling takwa diantara kamu (Al-Hujurat;13)

Sweet

Here something I wanna share with you guys. A blogger had posted this in her entry which I am really so into every her stories and always waiting for her post. This entry much more meant for me as I read it just now after back from work. so, lets you guys out there read to hers.

strengthening our keyakinan (assurance) in His Plans.

strengthening our tawakkal (trust) in His Plans.

strengthening our iman,

for it's the only thing we're bringing back with us in the Afterlife.

when i feel down and low, or when i feel lost at times for the things that i'm doing, my Abah+Mama kept on reminding me that i should keep doing my job; which is to put my best effort forward; in anything that i do. and the truth is, the only thing that we can measure relatively is just our efforts. and the rest? it is for Him to decide. all the endpoints are in His Hands. all the stories of how our life will proceed are all in His Plans. trust Him, i think that's what He wanted most from us.

untuk awak,

jangan sedih. Allah is actually giving you something that you need. it may not be exactly something that you want for your medical degree, but something that you need for your Afterlife degree. when on That Day, you were given a scroll to enter His Jannah; for your patience, for your effort, for your trust in Him while facing this small ordeal. ameen :)

ps:

at 17, i once faced some similar ordeal. when i didn't get something that i really want. but He Gave me something that i need first; which is my trust in Him. and once it was all over, when i even decided to let go of the thing that i want, He suddenly gave it to me. sweet tak? looking back, alhamdulillah is all i can say. He gave me what i need first before giving me what i want. :)

so trust Him, He has His ways of doing things. insyaAllah.

http://missizyan.blogspot.com/

or u may go through her blog above with title *fix you*

I called them the Geri's .

A week back when I treated one of my patient, there is something that remind me on her till now and I smile remembering that moment.

Before, I am in charge for a Geriatric ward! So, hey its kind of a big challenge for me as I need a lot of patience to be in the elderly life! But, at the same time, its a huge chance for me to know what life meant.

As I could see from their life not so details but a tiny tiny sight, some of them get a happy moment but some of them are really suffer in the last breath cos they were in lonely moment, in a pain, in a breathless and anxious for no one to company.

Truth! You should see most of them left by their children and stay in a terrible conditions without anyone come to pamper them, to calm them, to hold their hands, to give a smile, to talk to them, to look for their pain! No one! not even a child out of 10 of them!

I remember one of patient, a Chinese grams. She was so thin, bed bound, lying all the time, not even a single move, very not viable. She was alone. All the time. She's been referred to me for an exercise! Hey, I couldn't do much since her conditions not allowed me to do more than I could do towards other patient.

But, I still come to her every day, give her a massage, hold her hand and talk to her though i know she won't be able to reply me. But that day, I saw, I saw she's cried! I don't know, was it because of pain or what? Then, I came to her the next day, I just hold her hand and talk to her. Again, she's crying! Now I know, she miss one who holding her hand. Then, I kept visiting her till she was discharged!

and, this is a story about other Geri's who make me laugh and I think its a good joke from her without I realized that was so meant and klise.

I called her grams and one day when we do some table activity, there was a one guy who was the physiotherapist ask her.

Mr. P: you look so beautiful even you in 90's.. is there any secrets? is it ulam ke, jamu ke?

Grams: haha.. thank you. but nothing secret. Just amal ibadah! (deeds)

Daa.. don't you think its funny cos she was make a sarcasm! But for me she was not meant too. she was saying the right thing! hah! That was a good answer from grams to the young man who still make a journey in the life called world!

Actually, a lot of best moment during my work. it just some of them. I tell you guys, I'm getting to like this place.

Its not only about people but the experienced especially when come to a death! Its remind me every day you could die at any time as He decide for us!

Today

Not much things to update!

bored bored! as usual post on every Sunday!

Great!

everyone go out and have fun but I just sitting here in front lappy finishing the assignment, again!

but yet it never done..

so continue with lifetime movie. guess what? I'm taking a whole day to finish one movie. duh...hahaha seriously, continuously pause and play.. shuuh!!

hee... then continue the assignment and stop for a while as I continue cooking then makan2...

then, getting bored with movie shifted to the book I bought a few months ago, *House Rules*. It was at the best part of the novel as I am busy to finish up the work. OH Noe! seriously bad!

ookay, got a go..

happy weekend all.. wink wink..

Believe in you

things in head stuck

searching for a way out

the options to flee

but seems never appear

hand shaking and eyes watering

the heart beat go faster

as it try to spit out

and the ears was deaf

trying to escape from a bitter bitter harder

lost!

the tears come out

quiet and dumb

a voice from anywhere that couldn't be recognize

told to be stronger than you could be

ask to raise hand

and remember your Higher

hands up and make a doa

and the soul calmed..

stand with own feet and fight back

what stuck inside was been erase

by heart and help from him

and believe in you

in any matter you are

cos you the only one can survive yourself

just like,

the thought:

thought today will be a beautiful sunshine

till sunset end the day

but He gave us a bless rain

with a peace wind in the air

and we still breath and alive

> He will help us as we try to help our self. Believe in you, Believe in Him!

Wish you were here

I can be tough, I can be strongBut with you, it's not like that at allThere's a girl that gives a shitBehind this wall, you just walk through it
And I remember all those crazy things you saidYou left them running though my headYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we didDidn't think about it, just went with itYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
I love the way you areIt's who I am, don't have to try hardWe always say, say it like it isAnd the truth is that I really miss
All those crazy things you saidYou left them running though my headYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we didDidn't think about it, just went with itYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you knowThat I never wanna let go, let go, oh, ohNo, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you knowThat I never wanna let go, let go, let go, let goLet go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let goLet go, let go, let go
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were hereavril lavigne

Aspie's Dream

Forget the socialization,

forget the fun,

forget the entertainment,

forget the therapy

I'm isolated from others

become a social withdrawal

I'm a lonely

I need I need

to be alone

cos I'm in the midst of settle down

a bundle of assignment!

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu

Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu

Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar

Aku tlah terpaku oleh cintamu

Menelusup hariku dengan harapan

Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

[ Lyrics/www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/padi/menanti_sebuah_jawaban.html ]

Sepenuhnya aku...ingin memelukmu

Mendekap penuh harapan...tuk mencintaimu

Setulusnya aku...akan terus menunggu

Menanti sebuah jawaban tuk memilikimu

Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku

Semoga kau tau isi hatiku...

Dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar

Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu

Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu

-DONITA-

Rasa

Separuh hatiku cinta

Separuh lagi hatiku rindu
Seluruh jiwaku Kamu

Assignment

will be on sleep mode for quite some times to get focus on bundle of assignment. will be update the post soon... very soon... happy raya korban all...

Kisses From Daddy's Little Girl

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

- butterfly kisses, bob carlisle -

Right Speech

Crying not a weakness

but

Crying was a process to get back the smile

The ears

please lend me your ears so I could tell you what I felt inside!

sob sob